Are you picking up what we’re putting down?

Pick this up…

 It’s pretty difficult these days to decide whether or not you want to give someone a chance. I mean how when we’re too busy constantly trying to one up the last inbox inquiry. Then when we finally decide we are going to invest some time into seeing this person for longer than 15 minutes, we get this interesting feeling of leeriness and uncertainty with a pinch of hopefulness.

 Throughout our 20 year career we have seen “giving someone a chance” at many different stages and levels. The one thing that they all have in common is that the main key ingredient is  YOU! We want to help you become better daters so you can get your positive results sooner than later. It needs to be understood that when you are in pursuit of a potential life partner that you are choosing people that have a similar understanding of what “giving someone a chance” means. For maximum results you need to make sure that the other party is giving at YOUR level. That’s where matchmakers make a real difference, they ensure that the other party has been vetted to suit your needs… but don’t forget that YOU are the main ingredient, you are the star of your very own reality show.

 We are ALWAYS sharing with people why attractiveness holds no value. It sounds shocking at first but hear us out. Although attraction plays a role, it’s not the star. You want to be focused on how that person is making you feel as opposed to how they look, being beautiful or handsome has never kept a marriage together. It takes time to get to know someone and them to get to know you so engaging, endearing and uncomplicated. Try to keep it cool while paying attention to intentions/signs and your feelings.

 Here are some signs to look out for:

 ·         How serious are they about finding and keeping someone special

·         Are they still hung up on their ex

·         Have they shared that they are not looking for anything serious right now?

 These are entry level questions that you should know if you are looking for a potential life partner. Any answer less then Serious, NO and NO should be unacceptable for you.

 You want to keep your eyes and heart wide open and use your mind to guide you through. With so much intel being offered online it makes things more difficult and confusing. It’s really important to know yourself as a person so that you can trust your gut when it tells you about a person.

Someone’s intentions are important so never look  past that, even if you really like them on paper or the screen.  You want to make sure things are moving in the right direction for success. However you define success is up to you, and if you are not feeling good about a situation and still want to remain hopeful it is important that you are not picking up on the wrong things and reading between lines that do not exist. For example, if a person puts no effort into making plans with you, chalk it up to he’s not that interested. Let’s face it, inviting someone over to have sex is not making plans that is called making sex and not to be confused with building a relationship. This is a really tricky area for women because after having just sex with someone on a regular basis we start merge sex and love. While men have master the craft of keeping sex and love completely separate. Trust us the last thing you want to hear after sharing yourself with someone is, “remember I said I wasn’t looking for anything serious?” BRUTAL! That’s why clear communication is super important and being at the same level of “giving someone a chance” is crucial. You want to make sure that both of you are looking for the same thing and are both healed from your past relationship traumas.

  Someone who is serious about getting to know you wants to spend time with you and they will never be too busy with life to not have any spare time for you. They will not have you confused about their intentions and you guys will be building trust. This will make it easier for you to go with the flow.

When noticing red flags we always suggest addressing them instead of hoping, wishing and praying them away. Lastly, try your best not to fantasize about the outcome and focus more on the right now, like how are they making me feel. This is what your foundation will be set upon so make it impactful and strong by not selling yourself short, if he or she doesn’t make you feel good, leave them alone.